(I'm having a break from studies now. Pardon the long post. Kononnya practice for writing paper this coming Monday. Haha...)
Yeah, there's no denying that it's been a turbulent ride since mid-semester exam.
The results hit us where it hurt the most (well, those of us with those results anyway) and turned half the Asasi population into library-visiting-zombies. The library is definitely the new 12th; with some spending more than 10 hours in the cold, silent library.
Might as well move in, people! Haha! :D
I'm just not the library type, I guess. I can stay for a maximum of 3 hours. Then, I start to wander. I'm not the type to sit still and study for hours on end.
Thank God, in the wake of the Final Semester examinations, I have come to terms with my study table. I've got all my books in order, food and lots and lots of paper (environmentalists, kill me now) and everything I need to study. Post-It notes, colourful markers, mahjong paper to scribble- you name it.
Which is prolly why you'll rarely see me in the library.
I LOVE my study table.
And my favourite spot to study? ON the study table. Where everything is within my reach. (:
And since many of my friends have now gone to the dark side; converting into library zombies by the second- I've wandered around less. That's very, very, very rare for Susu to do. Trust me. I wander around A LOT. I'm usually in my room to sleep and get dressed je. But now, I totally love staying in my room. Suddenly, it's like my own little corner at the end of the world (8th floor hujuuuung koridor) where it's nice and quiet and away from the rest of the world.
In that time of seclusion, I've learnt to appreciate the many books handed down to me by my cousins, with scribbled notes in the margins to help me learn stuff I didn't understand. I'm actually feeling EAGER to study.
I went to see a certain lecturer today; a good friend of my Mom who has known me since the very day I came back from the States.
I have never ever gone to the lecturer's block for anything academic. The last time I went there was because Mom wanted to say hi. And I wanted to meet up with my friend, who was the lecturer's daughter.
It felt awkward standing in her office again. She was now a lecturer of mine. I refrained myself from calling her 'Aunty.' I paid for the book I came to buy and quickly scuffled out of the office. Just before I left, she called out my name.
"Suraya!"
"Mm-hmm?"
She got off her seat and came to the door. Leaning in close, so the other students outside couldn't hear, she asked:
"How did you do in the mid-semester exams?"
I swallowed hard. Hey, Su. At least you got an A for her paper, kan?
I was completely honest, listing out the subjects I scored and nearly failed. She nodded, her face unchanged; still with the smile I always saw her wear on her face.
"Ni mesti main-main, not used to exams yet..." she said with a smile. Which made me feel guilty. Because I have to admit that I didn't take the mid-semester exams seriously.
[Note to future PASUM kids: TAKE YOUR MID-SEM SERIOUSLY.]
I smiled and nodded to agree. She understood.
"It's okay, Suraya. Mid-semester only covers 20% of your marks. It's the 60% in your finals that count. If you do well- you MUST do well- this finals, your mid-semester would be nothing. Nothing, at all."
Wow.
"You should start on your studies." she ended.
"Thanks Aun- uh, Dr." I said. And left quickly. With the newly bought textbook in my hands, I felt the urge to open it, to go through it, to solve the problems that lay before me!
I'm going to study.
Definitely.
But I'm not going to miss out on the world. (: There's a lot of things happening in the world- Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize (isn't that too soon?), the by-elections (Isa won), the discovery of a bigger ring around Saturn (bet you didn't know that!) and Kilauea is on orange alert; waiting to erupt. (Don't erupt yet, wait for me!)
Once in a while, you've got to surface from that pool (or mountain) of notes and tutorials to see what's going on in the world around you.
The world is simply awesome. (:
Life's not all about the grades, people. It'll help you in life, definitely. No denying that! But let's stop to take a deep breath and enjoy the moments we still have. (Tapi jangan enjoy sangat!)
I don't want to grow up thinking I wasted my youth glued to textbooks. I want to grow up knowing that- I came to PASUM to learn something new and to improve what I already knew. And to leave with knowledge I could pass on to my children; not exam answer-schemes. To know that through my 1 year-stint in PASUM has shaped me into a human-being; not a robot in this academic factory.
I'm going to find myself. I'm going to make it through PASUM being me. And I'm going to leve PASUM with awesome grades that'll help me on my way to be a VOLCANOLOGIST!
Kilauea, don't erupt yet! Wait for me! :D
Allright, break time's over. Back to the books. (:
REMEMBER GUYS! Don't. Turn. Into. Robots. Love y'all.
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