Fetch me a doctor.

Or a plane ticket out of this country. Which ever comes first.

I don't feel like myself lately.

Maybe it's just hormones, or exam anxiety talking- I don't know.

But I feel really sick. Not the kind of I-feel-like-I-have-a-flu kind of sick. More like a I-have-no-idea-what's-happening-to-me kind of sick.

I've never ever had a problem with staying up late. I mean, I've had days where I sleep at 5- but I still wake up in time for Subuh. And I have never, ever missed a class on purpose. Hell yeah, I get sleepy in class after a late night- but I ALWAYS make it to class, fighting the urge to sleep every single minute spent in class. People who know me would know this. I mean, I'm the one who's never missed a single session of Jati Diri! I signed your effing attendance! Who in their right mind even attends Jati Diri? Ugh.

Anyway, my point is: I've never ever missed class, no matter how sleepy or how late I was. If there was a slim chance of me getting to class, I will get to class.

But this last week; the very last week of lectures- I've missed out on a number of morning lectures on three different days.

Why?

I overslept.

And it's happening really often lately no matter how late or how early I sleep and it's bloody well freaking me out. This isn't me. I've never, ever missed classes because of excess sleep. And exams are coming in a week! My biological clock is broken in the gears and I need to fix it quick.

Which is why I'm planning to leave KL a few days, to sort things out. Leave the city a while... Get my head and heart back in the game.

Laa... why so drastic, Su? you may ask.

The one indicator that made me realize how serious things were going was when I missed Physics this morning.

Physics 3 to be exact. One of my FAVORITE lectures of all time- And I missed the very last session in all of Asasi 09/10 history.

The fact that I sub-consciously dialed Sandra's number to wake her up to go to class scared me. I remembered well that I spoke to her on the line this morning but later this afternoon, she told me that I didn't say anything. It was just empty phone calls every time. She said I called her a number of times- of which I didn't remember... I still couldn't remember.

I woke up with my phone clutched in my hand.

It was 11 am.

I can't afford to lose myself this close to the exam period. I just... can't.

Pray for me guys. I need all the support in the world right now. -sigh-